Are you sitting there wondering who is at the other end of the screen, typing furiously to keep you up to your eyeballs in amazing, original content? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Over the coming weeks, we will slowly be unveiling more and more writers for the site, but for now, here are the sexy, sexy writers you might be familiar with:

Nick Fox: Fearless Leader/Sex Symbol

Nick was born in 1842 in a small English Hamlet. Sometime later, he went to high school at Holy Ghost Prep where he discovered forensics. Like many, his first reaction was, “Sweet, do we get to solve crimes and stuff?” To which the answer was a calm, sobering, “No, you just speak.” Nick then responded, “Do people get to interrupt?” He was told they didn’t, and he was in.

In his four years as a performer, Nick won many awards, ranging from 6th at a local tournament, to 1st in Duo at Harvard, and even a 2nd place finish at CFL nationals. Among some of more notable achievements, Nick was the first person to sextuple enter and sextuple final at GMU’s Patriot Games Classic, placing in the top three in all sex events.

Nick, now retired from performing, passes on what he’s learned both as a coach and as a regular contributor to this site. Nick’s future aspirations include becoming a giraffe and building a robot that can make him sandwiches.

Hermione Granger: Minister of Magic/Resident Fictional Character

Hermione, though she hasn’t posted, is an important influence of Forensics Underground. Plucked from the head of authoress J.K. Rowling, Hermione spent 7 years at Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where, sadly, they did not have a forensics team. Hermione now plies her trade here on Forensics Underground, putting charms on the blog and forum to ensure that no trolls get in.

The mere fact that someone typed up a bio for her should indicate the level and depth of insanity of FU’s founders and contributors. That said, they hope you enjoy all of the hard work that they and Hermione do to make this site the best it can be.

…and no she can’t hook you up with Ron or Harry (Or even Neville Longbottom) so don’t even ask.